About two months into my calling as Primary Chorister, I remember making a joke about once I knew all the kids names and figured out how to do this calling properly, they'd release me. Who knew it would only take about a year and a half to accomplish that?
See, I planned on having that calling forever. I loved it. Every Sunday my day was filled with music & laughter & smiling children. Its the best calling ever. Children can be a much more forgiving audience than adults. I was busy planning for the program this year, plus some of the kids had been asked to sing at a special Stake Conference on Father's Day.
So it was somewhat of a surprise when we got called into the Bishop's office and I got a new calling. Okay, that's putting it nicely. I was totally blindsided. I was in love with my calling, I didn't want a new one, but who am I to say no when I got asked? So I agreed. Then I had to keep it in for a whole week before the release. Did I mention that I found this out before church, so I had to keep quiet for 3 hours knowing that it was going to be one of the last times I got to perform my favoritest calling ever? Needless to say, I kept it in (almost) and then bawled the whole way home. For at least a day, I was devestated.
Then I got over myself a bit. I still had this special musical number to work on with some of the kids for stake conference. We were singing "I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home" (not my choice) and "Love is Spoken Here" (def. my choice, but that's another blog post entirely.) Elder Cook from the twelve apostles presided at the conference. The kids sang beautifully. It was fantastic. I was so touched by those beautiful spirits.
After that, I kind of needed to let primary music go and start focusing on my new calling. It was easy & hard at the same time. I subbed a couple of times for the new chorister. (His wife had a baby, and they had a vacation, yes I said his.) I had also committed our primary to sing "Love is Spoke Here" again in sacrament meeting the second Sunday in July, so I filled in (it was one of those Sundays the new chorister was gone.) Those kids sang that song for me. I really appreciate their voices, from the oldest 11 year olds to the youngest sunbeams. After that Sunday, I felt I could finally let go.
It hasn't been easy. On the one hand, church is a lot more serious when you're not in primary. Sometimes I just want to stand up and sing a wiggle song. On the other hand, its been better. I'm not the chorister anymore, so I don't receive the revelation or responsiblity for that calling. I didn't realize what a weight it had been on my shoulders until it was lifted. Of course I miss those kids, but I still see them and they say "hi!" to me. And I'm free to subsitute on Sundays now (like I will be for the next two weeks.) So its not really goodbye.
(But if they ever want to call me back to the Primary Chorister, I'd be there in a heartbeat...)